Greyhound position clarified...

Marcela Mora y Araujo has written an interesting pice in the Guardian regarding our new signing. For once there was not an obvious anti-Toon bias in the article, perhaps Louise Talor is on holiday?

Jonas or El Galgo (the Greyhound) left Vélez Sársfield in 2005 having made a substantial contribution to the club's domestic championship win that season. Jonas went to Real Mallorca in Spain under a contract which stipulated that he would be owned 50% by Vélez and 50% by Mallorca, and that after three years Mallorca would have an option to buy him outright. Failing that, he would return to Vélez - "unless there was a sale to a third club", as Vélez president Alvaro Balestrini told the Argentinian press a month ago.

Last week The Greyhound joined Newcastle United on a five-year contract for an undisclosed fee. Real Mallorca, though, are claiming breach of contract on Jonas' part and are demanding €15m (£12m) in compensation.

Vélez, for their part, are now facing the prospect of losing out on Jonas' "market value increase" and it is understood that their legal team has been in Mallorca planning a joint strategy to present to Fifa. Both clubs want a piece of the action, but the player has cited Article 17 of Fifa's statutes, which states that a player aged between 23 and 28 who has fulfilled three years of his contract can move to another club for "footballing reasons".

The relatively recent Andy Webster ruling provides the precedent which suggests the pay-out to Mallorca could be substantially less than the €15m requested. Hearts demanded what they saw as Webster's full market value when he moved to Wigan, but the Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled the club should be paid the equivalent of the player's salary for the remainder of his contract.

"The transfer market is in a state of transition at the moment, partly because of the Webster ruling,'' says Rory Miller, a football finance expert at the University of Liverpool. "It's very interesting from an academic point of view, because no one really knows what the value of a player in the transfer market is. Because of the Webster case it's very hard to determine the price of a player."

There are additional complications to the Jonas case, says Miller, stemming from the fact that Spanish clubs have recently invoked a buyout clause and that ownership of the player is split between Mallorca and Vélez. According to a source close to Jonas, who wishes to remain unnamed, the agreement between Vélez and Mallorca is a private matter between both clubs. The relevant point here is who holds the player's federative rights (the right to register the player as theirs with football's governing bodies) which in Jonas's case is Mallorca. But back in Argentina, where clubs rely on international sales to an enormous degree, the difference between 50% of €15m and a fraction of Jonas' remaining salary could hurt. A lot.

"Jonas' case is not the only one," says La Nacion editor Daniel Arcucci. "It's like an epidemic here at the moment; [Sebastián] Nayar's move from Boca to Recreativo in Spain is a case in point, to name but one example." Argentina's football economy is extremely dependent on the sale of players, and it is increasingly common to find that players are not owned entirely by one club. Subsequent sales are therefore regarded as much-needed income, as players gain value while they progress from club to club. Since 2003 Argentina has exported 145 forwards to foreign pitches and each of these sales represents a lifeline for the selling clubs.

Whilst the player may be grappled over by lawyers and agents lets hope we can just sit back and enjoy watching the player.

Lunatic who runs this asylum

Cristiano Ronaldo has apparently agreed with the Fifa president Sepp Blatter's criticism about the way Man Utd had handled his current situation. Blatter had urged United to allow the player to leave and, more controversially, complained that there was "too much modern slavery" in the sport.

Blatter, an honorary member of Real Madrid with close ties to the club's president, Ramón Calderón, had described himself as "very much in sympathy" with Ronaldo and urged United to allow him to leave, suggesting it was otherwise tantamount to slavery. "I agree with what he said," said Ronaldo, when that last point was put to him. "It's true. I agree with what the president of Fifa said. I know what I want and what I would like. We have to see what happens. I do not know where I will begin next season."

Quite how a pampered playboy on over a £100k wages a week can compare themselves to a slave is actually a bit on the offensive side. Especially as we have still actually have people in actual slavery to this day.

Coming from a man whose bright ideas have included dividing the game into quarters and suggesting that women football is full of lesbians this type of comments should be expected. Not that I have ever been sympathetic to either Ronaldo or Man Utd (kettle, pot, black re Carrick/Hargreaves etc) but this all seems somewhat crass.

Ashley breaks radio silence

After a week of media hype, innuendo and lies Ashley has finally broken his silence and clarified what his ideal plans are for the club.

As I surmised earlier this week Ashley revealed he is not looking to sell the club, but is interested in seeing other investors come into the club.

Whereas Derek Llambias diplomatically battered away stories of imminent sale via a carefully worded statement Ashley suggested

"There is absolutely no truth in that at all. It is absolutely bullshit."

So there we have it from the horses mouth. Ashley suggested that the QPR model of multiple investors is something he wants to look at in order to enable the club to compete.

"I would be quite happy to sell 1%. Just local guys, mad Newcastle fans and everything. I meet them and they say the only thing we regret is when you took the club, we then couldn't be a shareholder. If you want 1% of Newcastle, buy 1% of Newcastle for exactly the same price I paid for it. You can put in your money every year like I do, sit on the pitch and say this is one expensive season ticket, but I am having a lovely time. Newcastle United is not a thing you would make a profit on, Newcastle United is a thing you have to enjoy and love and enjoy going to the games and everything else. It would be very useful if we had some multi-billionaire partners that wanted a stake in Newcastle United. It would help."

On the rumours that he was selling to Bin Laden

"It's not as if I'm going to go and see Bin [Laden] in a cave in Afghanistan. No doubt when I'm in South America next week, it will be Fidel Castro."

It was his comments about Spurs which raised the biggest chortle. He said he wasn't personally bothered by the media attention he has had since buying the club but said he sometimes felt sorry for the fans.

"It is upsetting for them to read these things; they read I am a mad Spurs fan and this sort of thing, and of course it is not true – I absolutely hate Spurs. I always have done."

It was interesting that the coverage in the Guardian had nothing at all from our friend Louise Taylor whose stories over the whole affair have been shown to be utter tosh. I wonder why.

Credit Crunched

In an interesting article written by Richard Sharp he reveals a growing number of Premier League fans have had their fill of rising season-ticket prices funding new Ferraris for overpaid primadonnas. They have decided to seek cheaper football thrills further afield.

He gives a number of examples of people going to watch top level German and Spanish football. One Chelsea fan claimed that it cost him £60 for return flight and to stay overnight. With a ticket costing him £5 to get into Borrussia Dortmund that is £65. This compares to the average cost of getting to Chelsea of £108. Comically he also suggests that it is better because you are allowed to stand up and smoke fags, and a bloke with a beer siphon attached to his back will happily refill your glass for £1 a pint. Sounds good to me!

Before everyone starts chucking in their season tickets to jet off to Europe they might want to consider that rising fuel/tax costs could make this less of a bargain in a few years. However, there is no getting away from it Premier League level supporters are heavily charged for the priviledge. And we don't get a beer man...bah!

Llambias and Ronnie Gill confirm that yes, it was all a load of rubbish

Surprise surprise the club have finally released an official denial of the ridiculous rumours which have been published over the last few days.

The story got some legs today, with the front page of the Sun devoted to the story.

It seemed that without giving the story full consideration and investigation a number of journalists decided to go with it despite the holes which were clearly visible in it. Even Martin Samuel seemed to get carried away with the whole slant of the story in The Times.

"These rumours of cut and run are surfacing too frequently to be casually dismissed and, even so, this regime has form for saying one thing and doing another, from the time of Sam Allardyce’s departure. Having played the honorary Geordie card so brazenly in his first year, it is going to take more than another raid on the club shop to convince the locals of Ashley’s sincerity second time around."

Our friend Louise Taylor could not wait to jump onto the bandwagon and said:

"With City of London sources repeatedly indicating that Mike Ashley, Newcastle's owner and the billionaire founder of Sports Direct, is seeking a buyer for the club he bought only last summer, now would surely be an opportune moment for Ashley or Derek Llambias, Newcastle's new managing director, to offer some public clarification as to their intentions. So far, though the silence from the boardroom has been not only deafening but confusing."

Mind that girl must spend hours cutting and pasting stories for her editor. She must spend the rest of the working day counting paper clips.

Via the club Official website Derek Llambias said today that the club remains adamant that there is no truth in any of the rumours.

"At a time when everyone at Newcastle United is working hard to prepare for the new season ahead, it is annoying that we have to continually correct inaccurate newspaper stories."

Quite.

Even the Chronicle amazingly managed to use a bit of journalistic nous and investigate the claims by actually giving SBG a call.

"International relations officer Mr Yahia al Yahia today told the Chronicle: It is the wrong information. We are not interested. Nobody has asked us about it. We are not interested at this time. Maybe in the future, about six months or so. We have not spoken to anybody in Newcastle. Nobody has visited Newcastle."

The take-over talk comes on the back of separate rumours that New York-based firm InterMedia Partners had been approached about doing a deal. Last week the club dismissed those reports but the American firm contradicted that with its first public statement, which read: "InterMedia was approached about a deal, made no offer and has no interest." United officials were today privately baffled at InterMedia’s statement, saying nobody at the club had ever spoken to anyone from the US firm. As I suggest, clearly they were contacted about putting together a bid, but not by Ashley or anyone in the club.

"Whoever is putting these stories around is clearly trying to destabilise the club and you wonder what their motives are for doing this."

So, will we see the likes of Louise et all retract their articles and apologise for their shoddy journalism? Well, probably not.

What we can expect is that in a few months the story will reappear again and they will dredge up these unfounded rumours as fact.

You can shove yer shoes off for the lads up yer Ar&e..

Having followed the Toon away from home for well over a quarter of a century I have seen a lot of things, both good and bad. Like all clubs we have attracted our fair share of nutters, hooligans and downright scumbags.

In recent years there has been a shift in Newcastle away support. Whether it is a consequence of the rising cost of away games or that the traditional travelling fanbase has just got to old for it the demograph of away fans now seems very different to the past. Perhaps it is just that I am getting old but I cannot be bothered with the "Shoes off for the toon" lot who now seems to dominate. However, coming accross shameful articles such as this one just makes me want to give up on away games. I simply don't want to be associated with this kind of person. That they allowed this article to be published with such racist language probably says a lot about the organisation it is bannered under.

From sublime to just plane ridiculous

The Sunday Mail has revealed exclusively that the Saudi Binladen Group, a wealthy construction company run by the family of terrorist Osama bin Laden, has emerged as a shock front-runner to buy Newcastle United.

The paper revealed that representatives of the company are believed to have been in Newcastle in recent weeks for preliminary talks and to examine in detail the St James Park site's potential for transformation into a huge retail, leisure and luxury accommodation development.

The paper reveals that it has plans to possibily knock down the iconic stadium and building a new one on the outskirts of the city because of complications related to the location of the metro station.

So, let me get this right. According to the Mail Ashley is touting the club around for a quick sale, with the suggestion that it will be sold as a lucrative development site to the Bin Laden family. You could not make this up....or could you??!!

Taking a closer look at the article we see the following quotes:

"a source with links to the club claimed last night"

= I made this up in the pub as I needed a story for my Editor

"Newcastle owner Mike Ashley has been dogged by rumours, always denied, that he wishes to sell the club ever since his takeover just over a year ago"

= there is no truth in this story

"However, last night a private investment company from America, InterMedia Partners, confirmed reports that they had been approached by a third party about buying the club."

= There have been a number of investers interested in buying the club over the last year, one set of investors has approached another set of investors to discuss the possibility. This does not mean Ashley or his representatives are doing the talking.

"Although the offices of SBG in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, were open yesterday, there was no one in authority available to comment on the speculation."

= They had better things to be doing than talk to some addled journo.

"Last night a spokesman for Ashley would say only: 'No comment.'"

= They had better things to be doing than talk to some addled journo.

"Representatives of the company are believed to have been in Newcastle in recent weeks for preliminary talks and to examine in detail the site's potential for transformation into a huge retail, leisure and luxury accommodation development."

= a development company have looked at a site, well I "believe" they did, I don't know.

"At the turn of the year, it is understood that his brokers, Kaupthing, mentioned while discussing other business with representatives of Dubai International Capital, that a minority stake in Newcastle might be available."

= Ashley's company is discussing business with DIC, Newcastle is one of his businesses, Newcastle could be a business opportunity to invest in for DIC. Therefore DIC has been offered Newcastle to buy by Ashley...."it is understood" means nobody we know was actually at the meeting but lets make up a probable discussion that could have happened, well it is more interesting if we suggest it happened this way.

I honestly don't know if Ashley is or is not interested in selling the club or else getting other investors in. I have never soken to the bloke. My gut feeling is that he is in it for the long haul, or he may be looking at bringing in other investors to help fund future changes. However, whatever I think has as much credence as Daniel King or any other journo. They have not spoken to Ashley either. Ashley does not talk to the media, and especially the business media. They hate him for it.

As a footnote this is what King wrote on the 7th June about Barton:

"But the Newcastle hierarchy, led by owner Mike Ashley, executive director Dennis Wise and vice-president Tony Jimenez, are not happy and could move to dismiss the player even before the case begins on June 30. Newcastle feel the forthcoming trial will further tarnish the club's image and the fall-out from the incident with former France star Dabo will hinder their attempts to sign French-speaking players. France and St Etienne striker Bafetimbi Gomis, now at Euro 2008, was the latest to reject them."

So they obviously got all this right then, Barton has been sacked and all French-speaking players are up in arms. They must have got it from the horses mouth...

Billy Liar

In the Billy Liar story Billy is a lazy, irresponsible young clerk in provincial Northern England who lives in his own fantasy world and makes emotionally immature decisions as he alienates friends and family.

In the Guardian Louise Taylor is a lazy irresponsible "Journalist" who lives in her own fantasy world and makes up emotionally immature stories. Newcastle bad, Roy Keane good. She is back. In the Guardian she once again dredges up heresay and rumour. This time the chestnut that Ashley is about to sell the club.

"it was understood"

"It was said that"

"there have been unconfirmed suggestions"

Great insight Louise, great insight. Especially as the club have said it is "absolute nonsense".

Where did this story come from? Why it was front page of the Sun. This is just a pathetic. No further comment required.

Ironically the day before the paper probably got the situation right.

In the past, the word from St James' Park has always been that Ashley is building for a sustained future and is not looking to make a quick profit and then get out. However, that has not stopped repeated talk in the City, and now further afield, that the business is for sale at the right price.

What this says to me is that if someone offers him silly money he would sell. Everyone has his price. However, he is not seeking to sell and the fact that he "may" have put a silly price on the club merely indicates he is probably taking the pish out of them. He is after all disliked by the business media and I suspect this is the reason we continue to see these rumours dredged up.

Its the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine

Wengers comments this week that he could see 'the end of transfer fees' was given extra pertinance over the signing of Jonás Gutiérrez.

Qouoted in the Guardian Wenger suggests

"Fifa regulations allowed a player who agreed his contract when under the age of 28 to terminate it after three seasons 'without just cause' as long as he informs his club of his intention to do so and pays appropriate compensation. Though the level of such damages went unspecified, the test case that followed Andy Webster's decision to use the rule to leave Hearts for Wigan in 2006 determined that sum as the outstanding value of a player's contract (in the Scotland defender's case, £150,000).

The result, according to Wenger, is that a modern footballer's contract effectively secures a player's services for just two seasons, regardless of the length formally agreed in the paperwork. 'After two years you have to renegotiate your contract because after three years the player can move out,' Wenger says. 'You give longer contracts because it offers a little bit of protection for the player to have to pay compensation if he moves after three years - if you give a player a five-year contract and he moves after three, he has to pay two years' [wages].

'But, after two years, you have to re-negotiate with the player because he can move the next season; you have no choice. For me, this measure is inflationary. Why? Because after two years you have to sit down with the player, whether he has played well or not, or you will lose him. You can never get him to sign an extension to his contract for less - that means you will always have to increase his salary. They have created a situation where inflation goes through the roof.'"

It appears in this case we are the beneficiaries of this change. Although for Jonas there is a further complication in that it appears his former club appears to be claiming some ownership. The suggestion is his move to Mallorca might actually have been a loan. South American transfers always seem to be fraught in terms of ownership and contracts. It does not appear that the club have done anything wrong over this deal but what it does indicate is that at some point in the future we will get stung over a player leaving. It also signals that more cash is going to go into players and their parasitic agents pockets. The real losers will probably be the lower league clubs who could be set to miss out on transfer fees in the future.

He's lost his tomfoolery...

For me Pele was always an iconic football figure as I grew up in the 1970's. Too young to appreciate the 1970 World Cup final at the time, I remember looking back mid-decade and drooling over the Carlos Alberto goal and that sublime assist from Pele. I guess watching the likes of Nulty, Barrowclough, and Canell was not quite enough for a young kid with dreams of watching greatness in a Black and White shirt....not that the dreams lasted very long, not by the time I had watched a season of Bobby Shinton playing up front anyway.

Since his retirement Pele has enjoyed an interesting time in the media, and his views on all things football are still sought regularly. His appearance on Escape to Victory and on adverts for a certain male dysfunction spring to mind (if you pardon the pun). However, it is his recent run in with robbers in Brazil which demonstrates that Pele is human after all. Armed with pistols and knives a group took a gold necklace, phone and a watch.

Brazil is a lovely country but everyone who I speak to who has been there suggests that in Brazil we are all at the very big mercy of armed robbers. My own experience happened a few years back when I went to Rio just before Carnival. I travelled over with a mate Dave and was joined by another, Glassy, a few days later. Prior to Glassys arrival Dave and I had spent a few pleasant days sipping drinks overlooking Copacabana beach and Sugar Loaf Mountain in what is a breathtakingly beautiful city. We had even stumbled around late at night, somewhat worse for wear and despite all this we had never had a hint of any "bother", not even strolling across the beach at midnight caused us to fear for our lives.

This sense of security should have started to unwind as by the day before Glassy arrived things started to get a bit strange. Sat in a bar overlooking Copacabana beach we noticed that two tables up a man and a woman started to argue and she moved to the table next to us in tears as the bloke she had sat with got up and left in a hurry. "How.." we comforted her with, "What's wrong...you tell us, go on, you can trust us, we are Doctors"! At that she sat up and looked at us with a happy smiling face.Well, we thought at least we have made someones day. She looked at us both and said "You are Doctors? Then you must cut off my ears."

Now, that is not exactly something which you hear every day. We quietly explained that we were only able to practice medicine three miles out at sea in international waters as we had been struck off for medical negligence some years ago.

This did not put a stop to her. "But you must cut off my ears. Please..."

We further explained that we could not possibly conduct an earoctimy as we had had a few drinks and it would not be right.

Opening her bag to show us she had a good supply of gauze and disinfectant she replied "You cut my ears off, we can then have sex". It was indeed a very tempting offer, and had we had a few more beers cutting her ears off might have kick started a new career as Brazilian plastic surgeons but this situation had become a bit weird, even for us. Making our excuses we followed her friend and did a runner whilst she went off to buy some sharp knives around the corner.

When Glassy arrived we ended up on a big drinking session and late into the evening the combination of jet lag and excessive drink was beginning to take its effect on the lad and as a way of perking him up we had a stroll along the Copacabana. The beach was lit and after a week of no trouble we thought nothing of a stroll. You could after all see all around you and there was nobody in sight.

After a few minutes suddenly a gang of youths "appeared" out of the sand and jumped up with knives at people's throats etc. I can only think that they must have been lying in wait for ages, hoping for some tourists to walk by. What we should have done was hand over our bags etc and thought at least we have got away with our lives. What followed was in fact a slow motion fight scene as they were wrestled with and as Dave said "Boot him" to me I took a running kick at one of them and caught him squarely on the chin. Wearing big boots I thought there was no way he would get up from that, but to my horror he jumped up and took a martial arts style foot swing at me. Jumping backwards to avoid the kick I fell to the ground and he pounced, grabbed my bag and ran off as I stupidly gave chase - like I was gonna catch a fit young Brazilian lad! Meanwhile, the bloke on Glassy gave up and did a runner after Glassy decided to use the tactic of simply ignoring him and his knife wielding nastiness until he went away.

Walking to the local Police check point we found the local plod returning to his watch point with a kebab. He had clearly decided to go on a break an left the locals a clear run at us. We were driven to the Police station where we interviewed by the local Police Chief. In the station was a Kid Creole of Kid Creole and the Coconuts lookalike, who had also been robbed that night and who was trying to explain to his credit card company that perhaps his special "friend" who had nicked it might not be totally honest.

The Police Chief informed us that there had been quite a few robberies in that area that night, probably due to the Carnival coming soon and that it was attracting a lot of strange people into town. I said" Look, I am not a criminologist but do you not think that given the influx of nutters and the increase in tourists into this area that has resulted in an increase in crime you might want to consider increasing police presence or at least stop them going for kebab breaks?"

He looked at me, and I realised I might have overstepped the mark.

"Good point Sir", he replied.

I somehow think that the chances of Pele getting his bling back are about as good as me getting into plastic surgery...